It's better to laugh than cry over economy

The economic crisis is no laughing matter, or is it? We can either cry about our losses, or find some humor. Some are doing both! Several funny jokes on the subject have been circulating recently. Here's a sampling:

What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.

How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday.

What's the difference between investment bankers and pigeons? The pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMWs.

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last seven days, Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop, and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

In the United States there's a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.

Here's some new definitions:

CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer

Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.

BROKER - What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST - The person who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.