Better to laugh than cry about soaring prices

Everyone's talking about the cost of food and fuel. After filling up the gas tank the other day, I realized that more of the household budget is being spent on fuel than for groceries.

You know things are getting bad when what your vehicle drinks costs more than your own.

While that is a sad state of affairs, I'm one of the fortunate few. My pantry feeds only one person, so my costs are negligible. Couples, or couples with children are really feeling pinched.

The soaring fuel prices have fueled a number of jokes by late night talk show host. Isn't it better to laugh, than to cry?

Here's a few observations from Jay Leno. You might want to remember these the next time your fueling your vehicle... because tears will water down the gas, creating engine knocking.

*The average national price of a gallon of gas hit an all-time record high of $4.04 this week. Meaning that wherever you're going this summer, it might be cheaper to mail your car.

*Republicans in Congress are now demanding that President Bush investigate whether the oil companies are engaged in price gouging. Putting the White House in charge of investigating oil companies. That's like putting Dick Cheney in charge of gun safety.

*President Bush said this week to help with gas prices he will temporarily ease environmental regulations. Great. Not only will you not be able to drive, you won't be able to breathe either.

*Gas prices, aren't they crazy? It's so expensive that rats are carpooling in from New Jersey.

*There was a sign at the station near by my house that said, "We take Visa, Mastercard, Discover Card, and American Express." After I filled up they took my Visa, Master Card, my Discover Card, and my American Express.

*They said on the news tonight that if gas prices get any higher, we could see something totally unprecedented in California. People actually walking.

*Gas prices continue to rise. At the gas station near my house they have a slot for your credit card and one right next to it for your 401K.

*President Bush announced his plan to increase the number of barrels (of oil) produced. You hear his plan? He wants to make smaller barrels.

*I was watching that movie Mad Max, you know that movie where gas is so precious that people are killing each other for a few gallons. It was set in the future - I believe it is August.

*To counteract all the bad publicity they've been getting, the oil companies plan to introduce full-page ads explaining where your gas dollar goes. Before you explain that, explain where you get gas for a dollar. There's no such thing as a gas dollar. It's your gas five dollar.

*Gas is so expensive SUV now stands for sport utility victim.

*President Bush spoke with the Amish. He didn't want to, but it was the only group he could find that wasn't upset about the high price of gas.

*As you know, the government takes 40 percent of what you make. The other 60 percent, of course, taken by the gas stations.

*President Bush signed a big $286 billion highway bill yesterday. The sad part, $285 billion of it is for gas money.